Latest posts
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The Gentle Art of Dementia Response
I watched an Instagram reel yesterday about a person with dementia who was sundowning. In case you are new here, or to the world of dementia care, sundowning is a name for symptoms such as heightened confusion, anxiety, and agitation that often occurs late in the afternoon or early evening. Their inner sense of safety…
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Dementia Caregiver Burnout: How to Help a Sibling Who’s Overwhelmed
I recently called my sister for our weekly video check-in to see how things were going with our mom. When she looked at the screen and said she was “fine,” the bone-deep frustration on her face told a completely different story. When a primary dementia caregiver says they are “fine,” it is rarely the truth.…
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Ambiguous Loss in Dementia: The Grief No One Talks About
If you feel like you’re grieving someone who is still alive—or someone whose fate is unknown—I want you to know something important: your grief is real. It’s called ambiguous loss, and it’s one of the most misunderstood experiences a person can go through. The Origin: A Grief Without a Map The term “ambiguous loss” was…
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Anticipatory Grief in Dementia: Why Losing Someone Slowly Feels Different
Have you ever felt like you were grieving someone who is still sitting right in front of you? If so, you are likely experiencing ambiguous loss—a term pioneered by Dr. Pauline Boss to describe a grief that lacks the “map” provided by traditional loss. Unlike a death marked by a funeral and community support, this…
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Sundowning Restlessness: Calming Movement Activities for Dementia
In the journey of dementia care, there comes a specific time of day that many family caregivers dread. As the sun begins to set, a wave of anxiety, confusion, and physical agitation can settle over your loved one. We often talk about how our words matter during these intense evening hours. We know that skipping…
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Sundowning Aggression: Why Comfort Can Feel Like a Threat
The Evening Snap: Why Kind Questions Backfire It’s 5:00 PM. You just walked through the front door, balancing grocery bags and the lingering stress of the workday. You’ve been caring for your mom, whose mild dementia has felt noticeably heavier over the last few weeks. During the day, she manages well enough on her own.…
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Dementia and Lying: Why Your Parent Denies Needing Help
A caregiver recently posted about a familiar and painful situation: her mother, who has dementia, had been talking to her sibling behind her back, complaining that her care was “awful,” building a case against the very person doing the work. The advice that showed up in the comments was well-meaning and completely understandable: “Take her…
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Repeated Questions in Dementia: Why Answering Isn’t Helping
A woman on a caregiving forum recently admitted she resorted to pulling out her own birth certificate and old photo albums, desperately trying to “prove” her identity to her father. His dementia was worsening, and she was fighting with everything she had to drag him back to reality. It’s a heartbreaking scene, and if you’ve…
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Calmer Dementia Conversations: A 5-Second Mindset Shift
You’re walking down the hallway toward their room. And before you’ve even turned the corner, some part of you has already braced. Maybe your shoulders have crept up toward your ears. Maybe you’ve taken a deep breath without realizing it’s a bracing breath, not a calming one. Maybe it’s the quiet script already running in…
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Why You Can’t Reason With Someone With Dementia (and What Works)
We think if we repeat the answer to their question, say it slower, louder, with more detail, or just differently, they’ll be satisfied. But to a brain experiencing dementia, our logic doesn’t feel like help. It feels like an assault on their safety. Mom asked me that already today. I wonder if she forgot. I’ll…